|5’6|cw:120|ugw:95|
empty
empty
finally empty
i dont know how long it will last
but i hope forever
yesterday was death
so much pain
i bled for yesterday
i bled for yesterday so i can
breathe for today
i have control today
i will succeed
i guarantee
no one can stop me
not even my own dreaded
body
i feel like everyone has. taking a shortcut, cause you don’t wanna look at yourself anymore. and maybe starving yourself isn’t that bad? well it is.
it is when you realize it’s getting bad but can’t stop cause now food is “the monster”.
it is when you eat a healthy dinner and think about throwing it up so it doesn’t count.
it is when you crave the feeling of emptiness more than you used to crave food.
i myself used to binge. whole tubs of icecream, boxes of crackers, basically any easy access food. and i still do. but it’s hard to keep away the lust of emptiness from filling up my soul. wondering if i could just go for a month and then stop, just so i could fit into those jeans i had my eye on. just so i could wear a bikini. but i can’t stop eating and i can’t stop thinking about being empty.
it’s bad. when you shower in the dark. when you cry while eating that batch of cookies but you just can’t stop cause you are so goddamn hungry. i wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
get help. please.
I need some blogs to follow.
Please reblog if 3 or more of the following applies to you.
- lives with parents
- is 16+ (must)
- suffers from binge eating at times
- is at least 20 lbs / 10 kg from their ugw
- is a vegetarian / vegan
- is still at a healthy bmi
- loves to send and answer asks
Stay safe my loves. You can always dm me or send an ask.
